whitneydaniell

Who is cutting onions? This book had me in all of my feels, crying, crying, and doing some more CRYING.

I. Characters

Seventeen-year-old, Avery Anderson steps out of the car at her grandmother’s house in Bardell County, Georgia unsure if her feet or her mind know how to move forward. Moving to Georgia from Washington DC was not how Avery nor her mother and father, Zora and Sam Anderson had planned to spend this year but, Mama Letty got sick for the third time and this time, it felt final.

Who wants to change schools in their senior year? No kid ever. Avery takes it in stride, the life she lived in DC is now one that she can only memorialize through stories but, she has her future ahead of her. Georgetown the following year, following in her mother’s footsteps and studying, astronomy – her mother is a freaking, astrophysicist! #GoBlackGirl

Throughout the entire book, I am so proud of Avery as if I know her. She takes this move, which by the way is a huge undertaking in your senior year and a HUGE move from a big city to a small town where you know no one and nothing, Avery takes the change on the chin. “Focus forward,” her dad says. When she arrives at Mama Letty’s house, she meets Simone, the daughter of Mama Letty’s neighbor Carole – who is also her mother, Zora’s, old friend. Simone introduces Avery to Jade and before you know it, they’re a friend ground and I silently cheered for Avery not being alone in this new town.

In almost every scene with Avery and someone else, whether it’s Mama Letty and Zora, or Jade and the Oliver’s, I was always rooting for Avery! She is her grandmother’s baby!

Arnie and Jerome, yes! A thousand yeses.

For what it’s worth, I loved Sam Anderson. It was touch and go there in the beginning when he kept leaving for work, I get it but, his absence was starting to be problematic. However, he turned it around and I hate to as it but… I liked him more than I liked Dr. Zora Anderson, the astrophysicist.

II. The Story / Plot

Oh. Em. Gee. Pass me the Kleenex now!

*Personal Moment* As someone who spent many years and summers with my grandparents in a small coal town, with a church on every corner and the Ohio River on the other side of the train tracks – this book moved me emotionally because I could feel it, I could see it, I could taste it, I LIVED IT. We’ll get back to my personal feelings in section IV.

People are messy, kid. Families are messy.

Sam Anderson

Families are indeed messy. Filled with secrets and lies. Broken by pain and guilt. Stretching for miles across rivers and lakes. Our family always has a way of breaking open wounds that we didn’t know we had. Our families are the only ones who can pour cheap vodka into those wounds and watch us as we cry out in pain. Our families will take the ugliest parts of us and store them in the box forever and never tell a sole, while we all rot under the guilt or shame or pain of it. That is what this story is about.

Burdens that are not our own, that we carry. Pain that is not ours, that we endure. Shame that has been cast onto us, that we wear.

If you are a black woman, who was raised by a black woman, then Mama Letty and Zora’s relationship would not come as a shock. There is something to be said and studied about the trauma that black mother pass down to their children. In all the ways that Mama Letty got it wrong, it fueled Zora to get it right in her life but somehow, the things left unsaid were passed down to Avery and now, new trauma has spouted. So many words unsaid. So many questions unanswered. Where Zora feels that she is protecting Avery, she has introduced a new trauma to her by, teaching her to be inquisitive and question everything… except you. When our daughters learn that they cannot trust us to be honest with them, they learn to not trust themselves in who they question.

Mom had always raised me to be mature and inquisitive. But when it came to our own family, all of that was out the window and replaced with her Don’t worry about it! bullshit.

Avery Anderson

III. The Writing

Brilliant. Masterful. Jas Hammonds has a way with words. The story was written beautifully and with so much care and love.

IV. My Final Thoughts

This story touched me in such an unexpected way. My only critique of the whole book is that the ending felt rushed – as if there was a maximum word count, and they were getting close to it and didn’t want to go over it. I wanted more from Mama Letty – give us one diary entry. I wanted to know more about Simone: her relationship with her mother and sister. We needed at least 4 more chapters.

It’s not lost on me that, my own personal feelings and connection to this story are fueling my positive words but, this book is really THAT good. Maybe I cried because I too, miss my grandmother. Maybe I cried reading about Mama Letty and Ray because, my grandmother loved my grandfather just like that and she too, was lost at his passing. We all deserve monuments but, if no one else in the world is deserving, I’d vote for one of James and Pauline every single day of my life.

Ending aside, I loved this book. I will be buying a physical copy to give to my friend to read. I could go on and on but, I don’t want to make this review too long. READ THE BOOK.